A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye

A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: vvanqu1sh - March 22nd, 2015, 6:57:21 pm

So I sat down on my laptop and decided to type up a story. Since there have been lots of people posting their stories on the CubeBuilders forums, I decided to post mine too.

[glow=red,2,300]The Dragons Eye[/glow]


Long ago, there was a village where Texas now resides. The people of the village told their stories, went on walks, and did everything an average human being would do. The children played on the swings, ran around on their lawns, and went to school every morning. But one day, everything changed. From the start of when the village had been established, there had been a legend written in the scripts of the villager’s beliefs. The strange legend stated that there was a mysterious creature resting in a mountain nearby the village. This creature also had a name; The Red Dragon. Recently, there had been mysterious cries and shrieks coming from the mountain. The villagers thought that somehow the creature had been awakened and they sent a volunteer to go investigate. This man was known for his bravery as a knight and his name was James Smith.

James was a man in his 30’s who had jet black hair, dark skin, and square features. Soon, he set off. James jumped onto his horse and began his journey. When James reached the opening in the side of the mountain, he nervously marched in, along with his powerful horse. He walked in a few feet more, and then let out a scream that could be heard half way down the mountain. Just before James’s last moment, what he saw was a red eye filled with anger and hatred, staring straight at him.

Two days later, when James had still not come back, the village started to get worried. They sent another brave knight to go investigate the strange sounds. This man happened to be a good friend of James, and his name was Joseph Tucker.

Joseph had dirty blonde hair, pale skin, and roundish features. Just like James, at the beginning of his journey, he was fearless and bravely rode his horse, urging it to go faster. But when he neared the cave in the side of the mountain, he felt a little scared. By the time he had come to the front of the cave, he was shivering and his knees were shaking with fear. Joseph slowly walked in, only to meet the same fate as James. He cried out, and just like his friend, right before he was killed, Joseph saw the red eye of a dragon, glaring straight into his face.

This time, three days later when Joseph had not returned, the villagers had decided not to risk anyone else’s lives trying to figure out the cause of the inevitable screams. They simply ignored the cries, but this task itself was very hard. You just couldn’t walk around the village without a feeling of anxiety overwhelming you. After several weeks, a brave man named Matthew decided to find out what was happening and why, no matter what. Matthew was a young man, still in his 20’s. He had dark brown hair with fair skin. Many of the people in the village tried to stop Matthew from going on the dangerous journey, but none of them succeeded. The dramatic deaths of James and Joseph did not frighten him. Matthew hopped onto his horse and galloped away to the mountain that the villagers had declared be called ‘The Haunted Mountain’.

Unlike the others, Matthew was not fearless and at the start, he was already nervous, shaking with fear. When he reached the opening, Matthew knew what he had to do, and he stomped straight in.

Unlike the other knights, Matthew was not caught by surprise and when the Red Dragon struck his claws at him. Matthew simply somersaulted away. Only now had his fears gotten so intense, that he suspected just like the others, he would die a horrid death. But then courage took over. Matthew jumped up, stood his ground, and took a look at the creature. It was an enormous dragon, with a scarlet body and aquamarine, scaled wings. It had a tail the color of blood, swaying around as the dragon let out a terrifying roar. The dragon lashed out at Matthew with his right hand, the black claws piercing the air like knives. Matthew managed to roll out of the dragon’s reach, but he wasn’t quite safe yet. Sweating like crazy, Matthew looked for something to defend himself with. Only now did he see all the gold coins and treasure uselessly lying around on the cave floor. But there was no time for that. He picked up a partially flat, partially round rock, and hurtled it at the dragon. This was Matthew’s biggest mistake because all this did was aggravate the dragon even more. Suddenly, a dark claw shot towards Matthew. Once again, Matthew miraculously dodged out of the dragon’s reach. He rapidly looked around for anything he could use to slay the mighty creature. Only then did he notice that one of the dragon’s eyes were a bright red, and were leaking fresh blood. He thought about it for a minute. Then Matthew picked up a lance he had found along with the other treasure and shot it towards the creature’s damaged eye. The dragon swung out of the way with lighting fast speed and the lance missed him by several feet. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Matthew saw a bow, a small hint of light coming from it in the darkness of the cave. Matthew rapidly picked up the bow, grabbed an arrow from nearby, and without thinking, shot.

You’d be able to guess where the arrow hit. Right in the center of the dragon’s eye.

When Matthew and his horse rode back home, he was rewarded with a round of applause and a prefix in his name. Yes, Matthew had been knighted by the king and queen. When Sir Matthew told the village about the treasures he had found, the town recovered the treasure and distributed some to everyone. Half of them went to supporting the village, a quarter to Matthew for saving the town, and the rest to the king and queen. From then on, Sir Matthew was respected by one and all, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Hope you enjoyed!

-DaRetroGamer




Click Here
Part 2 --->


Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: KermitsBigToe - March 22nd, 2015, 8:03:07 pm

I really like this story DaRetroGamer, I read it word by word and its genuinely incredible.

Thank you for sharing this story! :)

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: vvanqu1sh - March 22nd, 2015, 8:18:34 pm

[quote author=SovietPickle link=topic=2313.msg9971#msg9971 date=1427068987]
I really like this story DaRetroGamer, I read it word by word and its genuinely incredible.

Thank you for sharing this story! :)
[/quote]Thanks!

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: slimestein - March 23rd, 2015, 4:16:05 am

Notch once said in a "secret friday uppdate" (long time ago) That he would add dragons, enderdragon and reddragons. Is the villages Villagers? This is your hope of getting reddragons to minecraft and made a great story about it?
Or is it just another awesome story that you guys from Cubebuilders make?

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: vvanqu1sh - March 23rd, 2015, 10:59:20 am

[quote author=slimestein link=topic=2313.msg10025#msg10025 date=1427098565]
Notch once said in a "secret friday uppdate" (long time ago) That he would add dragons, enderdragon and reddragons. Is the villages Villagers? This is your hope of getting reddragons to minecraft and made a great story about it?
Or is it just another awesome story that you guys from Cubebuilders make?
[/quote]Option 2 :D

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: slimestein - March 23rd, 2015, 11:06:52 am

[quote author=DaRetroGamer link=topic=2313.msg10063#msg10063 date=1427122760]
[quote author=slimestein link=topic=2313.msg10025#msg10025 date=1427098565]
Notch once said in a "secret friday uppdate" (long time ago) That he would add dragons, enderdragon and reddragons. Is the villages Villagers? This is your hope of getting reddragons to minecraft and made a great story about it?
Or is it just another awesome story that you guys from Cubebuilders make?
[/quote]Option 2 :D
[/quote]
Still awesome!

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: dtown2002 - March 23rd, 2015, 11:43:11 am

I didnt read it its so long. Might take me an hour I bet. LOL ::)

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: vvanqu1sh - March 23rd, 2015, 2:27:05 pm

[quote author=BigBoss__ link=topic=2313.msg10086#msg10086 date=1427134477]
Wow! I can tell you put a lot of thought into this story and it shows. However, I will offer some constructive criticism that may help your readers when you decide to write extensive stories like this one. One big thing is separating your content into numerous paragraphs. This makes it easier for the readers to examine you story and makes it less intimidating to read at first glance. Some other minor writing tips like indenting and punctuation could also help too. Overall though, the content of your story was really interesting and I enjoyed it a lot. It reminded me of "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug", which is a classic book and a recent adaptation to film. I know this just a forum, but your content was on level with a prestigious work, so I figured Id give feedback that a prestigious critique would probably give. I look forward to seeing more stories by you and other people from our server! See you on the server!

[font=times new roman] -Boss[/font]
[/quote]Hey Boss,

Originally when I wrote it in Microsoft Office I had it formatted, paragraphed, and indented. But when I posted it on here I decided to take away the gaps because it took up a lot of space. Thanks for the suggestion though!

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: slimestein - March 23rd, 2015, 3:54:16 pm

DRG will you be releasing any new stories? In that case i cant wait:)

Re: A Story I Wrote - The Dragon's Eye
Post by: vvanqu1sh - March 23rd, 2015, 3:54:38 pm

[quote author=slimestein link=topic=2313.msg10124#msg10124 date=1427140456]
DRG will you be releasing any new stories? In that case i cant wait:)
[/quote]Sure...well see.

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