i broke her heart. i didnt know one small action would cause all this sadness. i am so sorry but no one will forgive me. i really wish i could go back and time and fix everything to where everyone is happy. this will taunt her forever. it will never go away. its permanently stuck in my memories. i deserve to go to hell for my actions. i wish this never happened. i cant believe i had this much imagination and cruelty i have in me. i really do feel bad and terrible for what i did. i lied to so many. i have such a bad reputation here on cb and in life. i wish i could just end everything now. just end it. i mean its not easy but i have to deal with it and move on. i dont think i can move on. i really do deserve all this hate. i should have been aware of my actions and thought about the outcome. i deserve all the consequences. no one will see me the same way anymore. i bet my "friends" will just ignore me and bully me and tease me for all i did. but you know.. i dont mind. i deserve it if it does happen. im sorry for hurting your feelings. i know what i did could have taunt you forever. i know you're not reading this but i just want to say this. i know "sorry" doesnt cut it. i know "sorry" means NOTHING at all for all of this. i really wish i could go back in time.. all i had to do to not cause all of this was make him up. i made him up with all my stupidity. i may not be making sense, but this is the best i can explain. i was bored one afternoon on cb. I was like... "hm.. maybe i could make up a person named josh and say he's my brother!". im so STUPID. im so DUMB. im so IGNORANT. im so CARELESS. i cant believe what i just did. i cant believe i lied to so many. i really dont know what im doing. i have no idea what i just did. this is so not me.. but no one will believe me. for all those who know what im talking about and now hate me.. im going to stop getting on cb so you can have peace. i dont want to ruin anyone's life anymore. i might get on but barely for a minute. im so sorry.
bye.